What To Do When You Miss Your Ex

Posted by takulaya1 | 8:19 AM

Do you miss your ex? Are you having trouble moving on? Here are seven strategies to pursue when you miss your ex.
1. Decide that it is over. As long as you think there is a chance to get back together, you will continue to experience feelings of missing your ex girlfriend or boyfriend. If you practice strategies like texting or phoning them trying to catch them off guard, you will continue to keep the feelings alive. When you miss your ex, try one of the other strategies presented here.
2. Get rid of all of their stuff. Do an exchange where you give them their stuff and they give you yours. Don’t hold on to physical items for sentimental reasons, it will just remind you of how much you miss your ex. If there are small things that you don’t give back (such as a tooth brush or a comb) throw them away. You don’t need the constant reminders.
3. Write them a letter – then burn it. One reason why you continue to miss your ex is because you haven’t gotten them out of your system. So, write a letter pouring out all of your feelings about the relationship and the break up. When you have released your emotions, then get rid of the letter. There is something emotionally satisfying about watching your words go up in smoke.
4. Reconnect with your friends. Sometimes when you get in a hot and heavy relationship, your ties to friends and even family wither. If this is the case, reconnect with your friends. Redevelop relationships that you have let simmer. Your friends and family love you even if your ex doesn’t anymore.

5. Make new friends. One of the reasons you miss your ex is because he or she took up so much of your time. Now, in addition to the intense emotional void you are feeling, you have time on your hands. Fill that time with new activities or interests. Take a class at the local university’s extension program. Learn to do the tango. Join a co-ed softball team. Volunteer to clean up the park through an environmental program. When you keep busy, you will find that closing the time void also helps you close the emotional void.

6. Get a pet. A dog, cat, or other pet can help you reconnect to what is real. A pet needs your attention and love. A pet can also give you love. When you miss your ex, you can reach out for a pet who loves you.

7. Start dating other people. The world moves on. There are lots of other fish in the sea. Once you reconnect with your friends, start new activities, and even start to walk the dog, you will begin to see all of the opportunities you have with the opposite sex. Don’t worry that a first date has to lead to a complicated relationship when you are not ready for one. Just go out and enjoy yourself. Soon, you will stop feeling that you miss your ex so much.

Follow these seven steps and you will soon find that you are not saying you miss your ex at all!

Here is a question that people have all the time. Is writing letters to get your ex back really a good idea? There are many people that write letters, text messages, e-mails and just about every other form of text-based correspondence that you can think of on a daily basis. Many of these people will resort to that form of communication when trying to get an ex-lover to fall in love with them again.

In order to truly comment on how effective this method is, we need to examine both the good points and the bad points about it. The good to writing letters is that they will allow you to express feelings that you might not otherwise be able to express. There are plenty of people that can say more in text than they’d ever be able to say verbally. So if letters are helping you with the communication process, they can definitely be a good thing.

On the other hand, letters are also quite impersonal. People that are broken up with over the phone, over an instant messaging program, through mail or even by text-message are people that tend to really hold grudges. The most honest way to break up with someone is in person, although many people just don’t have the gumption to do it this way. Just as this is true with breakups, so too is it true with everything else related to relationships. If you want to get your ex back, the letter might not be the best way to communicate that information.

This is actually even more evident if you go back and look at the previous good point about writing letters. Even though they can help you communicate things that you find hard to communicate verbally, your ex probably already knows that. Therefore, learning to communicate those things verbally shows that you can change for the better for your ex and that is something that is more likely to make them come back to you than a written letter.

Generally speaking though, all of this might be a bit of an academic debate. The reason for that is that many times the direct approach is not the best one when it comes to getting your ex back. Writing letters to get your ex back by definition involves the direct approach. If your goal with the letter is to start up the relationship again, you can do nothing but take the direct approach. The closer to the breakup you write the letter, the less likelihood there is of the direct approach being able to work.

Most people would advise that you go with the indirect approach. Let your relationship with your ex grow back into friendship after the breakup and then take the opportunity to reignite the relationship when it comes along. That is far more indirect than direct in nature and naturally does not involve the writing of any letters. This means that at best, there is debate going back and forth about how beneficial letter writing actually is.

If you're looking around wondering how to win your love back, then you've no doubt found yourself in a situation where you're still in love with your ex, but your ex has walked out of the relationship.

Your first step to win your love back has to be to take some time out and get your head together. It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days of the breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup. So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out.

Your first thought should always be to look after yourself. That means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. It's not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do. Contacting your ex makes you weak and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position. Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone. Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them. Exs hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.

Instead, work at sorting yourself our. As you focus on yourself make sure that you're not spending all your time on your own. It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them. This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you don't need.

Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun. Yeah, it's not going to be easy, but if it's the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.

As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.

It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship and two to break that relationship. So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is down to you.

Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how you're going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.

Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if you're serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.